Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
