porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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