i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
