I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
