I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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