i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Found your dick twin last night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
