That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
