Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
