Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
