What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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