I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
