So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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