Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
