Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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