Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
