we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
