We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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