I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
