I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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