In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
