It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
