I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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