just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
