You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
