There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
