You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
