I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
