He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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