Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
