I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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