Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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