Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
