I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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