if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
