I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
