Four minutes until I can fart!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize