I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
