You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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