Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
not ubering you a puppy
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
