Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
