You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sorry about my life...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
