another moral hangover. fuck.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
