We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize