using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
