What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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