I seem to have left my pride at pride
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
