She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
