Rock
Scissors
Fuck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
