I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Success! We fucked roommates!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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