Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
